Hold infinity in the palm of your hand...
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Capricious Fae O' Doom" journal:
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So long and thanks for all the fish...|
Right all... this is going to be a very hard entry to write.
I'm leaving this journal.
Not because I'm suddenly sick of it, or sick of anything on livejournal. Quite the contrary in fact, I'm loving it even more as time goes on. I'm not leaving livejournal, but I am moving onto a new blog.
But I'm also procrastinating, so let's get to the heart of the matter: why.
Poppi was a name I picked before I entered the Fandom in 2004. It was origonally picked so I could blog on my first journal on easyjournal.com (a pathetic attempt at what livejournal.com pulls off effortlessly) and not have to feel paranoia about being stalked. Over my time participating online, I've come to realise how arrogant that presumption was. The longer I've been on here, from when I first 'met' kalohalo
on easyjournal over a year ago, to the group of absolutely amazing people I've surrounded myself with here on LJ, the more I'm feeling that my screen name is useless. I want to be known as my real name, not a name I made up in a game with my rl friends. I almost feel like I've been deceiving you which, trust me, was never the aim.
So, I've decided to move onto a new journal and start, well not afresh, but under who I actually am.
I'm going to friend all you wonderful people again, and hope you'll friend me back. I think I might keep this journal for posterity's sake, but I'm not sure yet. I hope we can all continue on our mad comment spamming as we always have done. I love you guys all so much, and I never want to intentially fuck you around like this. I hope I haven't offended, or hurt anyone's feelings with this, because I fell terrible, like I've been telling a humoungus lie the whole time I've been here.
To those who wish to know: capricious_fae
is my new abode, effective as of now. I'll probably ask for another birthday date spam pretty soon in, so I don't have to use this one's.
My username on FA and FFnet will stay the same, simply because I like my fanfiction where it is and I can't be fucked setting up two more accounts. I've set up a new email: email@example.com, and all my rl and Fandom related emails will now go to there.
I love you all, and I want to let you know how much you make my life that bit more brighter, give it that little more of a sparkle. People who don't partipate in this sort of thing will never quite fathom how close you can get to someone on an online journal, but it's true that you can class someone you may have never met as one of your closest confidants and friends: You are all that and more.
Again, love is just the word that keeps bubbling from my keyboard, and I almost can't say it enough because I've gotten myself into a highly emotional state here, over what someone might think as tiny. Perhaps I have made a mountain out of a molehill, perhas I have, but that's me, I guess, that's me.
Hoping to see to all over at capricious_fae
Current Mood: sad
Some of you may be aware that it is possible to manufacture some form of napalm by combining petrol and polystyrene. I kid you not; the wonder of the internet never cease of amaze me. This’ recipe’ has also been tested by one of my more... interesting friends, who now has a rather large bald patch of lawn, his mother must really love him. He also came up with the idea of coating his school art folder in the napalm solution... because he couldn’t be stuffed clear-durasealing it.
Again, I kid you not. This folder now had a crusty clear layer over it that smells horribly like petrol to the point where people get headaches if they sit near him for too long.
The Rotary book sale is on this weekend, coinciding with the Easter five day weekend that we have. **dances** W00t for people who died to forgive the Christians sins, so we could have chocolate and no school! Okay, I am aware that Easter (or Eostre) is actually based on a Pagan fertility festival of Spring and was hijacked a long time ago, but it ruined the pure poetry of my words above.
I just want to apologise now for my lack of comments in you wonderful people’s posts. I love you all so much, and I get so guilty that I haven’t had time to go on as often as before. Can you forgive me? Seriously, I’m trying to keep up with you as best as I can, but sometimes my comments may flag a big. Not because I want them to, but I don’t have 26 (or 7) hours in the day. **weeps**
Wuving to all to pieces of stars,
, wishing you a safe flight, and I'm not going hope you have fun, because I know you will. Looking forward to the photos and the entry when you return. Love ya too.
Current Mood: contemplative
Tonight I am starting the 40 hour famine, which means I must prepare. Preparations include eating as much good stuff, like cake, ice-cream and chocolate, as I can before 8 o'clock tonight. I must also have at least one cup of coffee because it will be the last ceffeine hit I can have till 11 o'clock on Sunday morning.
I will be surviving on barley sugars and Just Juice.
Okay, I guess I make it sound completely horrible, but I honestly don't get affected by it too much. As far as I'm concerned, I get to eat lollies all weekend and drink decent fruit juice for a change.
Usually I get together with friends for the whole misery loves company party, in which we eat all kinds of lollies we probably shouldn't (we're only supposed to eat one brand) and watch lots and lots of videos. However, I'm lazy and couldn't be bothered organising one, not to mention I only officially signed up today and I should have done it like... two weeks ago. It's all good tohugh, the Father will rent me some movies, help me eat my lollies and the Brother is at a friends house for their own misery loves company party.
Oh... I'm assuming all you lovely international friends know what the 40 hour famine is. If you don't, basically we choose to give up something for 20 or 40 hours and get people to sponser us for it. People can virtually do anything; some try having a tech famine, meaning they can't use their phones for the time, or some even attempt a completely radical one where they live in a cardboard box and eat only rice and water for 40 hours. We then collect the money which goes to World Vision and then on to various starving children at various points in the Third World sphere of things.
I have to admit, my reasoning for doing this isn't actually that noble. I do it because it looks great on my extra curricular activites for my profile at school, and gives me mor eof a chance of getting Excellence at the end of year assembly.
Selfish? Perhaps. People will still benefit from my selfishness anyway.
Moving on to soemthing completely unrelated, but my Bother is a little shit. I mean seriously, my Parents are beginning to realise they've had it waaaaay easy with me, the goody good daughter. I always did my homework, never had a detention in my life, did not antagonise teachers and generally am quite sweet natured **cough**yeahright**cough** for a teenager. But the HE..... he's hell that's what he is.
It's only going to get worse as well, from the way I can see things going. It's all been building up, at home and school. I dunno how things work overseas, but where I am a detention is virtually a last resort type punishment. Sure, some people make a regular thing of it, but my point is, it's exremely easy to go through life without one. So, the Father was rather shocked to find that somehow the Brother has got himself one, and didn't tell him. Which, I must say, I can't really blame the Brother, but when you have a parent at school they're gonna find out. My view on that is tell the Father before someone else does.
Mer, he probably deserved it anyway, little shit.
I do worry about him though, which I don't want to, but I do. He had some troubles last year, had to see the school counsellor (not about being bad in school) and I worry he still needs to talk to someone. Thing is, I suck at those types of things. I'm not very good with empathy, especially with things like depression because I can't understand it myself. I just... hate to think he's comparing himself to me, which Mum and Dad have told me he does. God, that would fucking suck. I don't want him to think he's in my shadow, I want him to go out on his own and prove to himself he's a success, which I think he has been trying to do. The thing is, he does't like failing. At all.
I guess we're similar in that respect.
Rice Bowls to all,
Current Mood: thoughtful
Here we go because I couldn't resist it:The Fandom Meme
Fav. Character: Draco, I know, who didn't see that one coming?
1. The first character you first fell in love with: Draco, I began reading the Draco Trilogy when I first entered the Fandom, so I was influenced pretty hard.
2. The character you never expected to love as much as you do now: Severus Snape, I never expected that I could read a fic wherin I ador ehim. But, it happened.
3. The character everyone else loves that you don't: I don't really like Hemrione: sure I can tolerate a well written Hermione, but I'm not really into her.
4. The character you love that everyone else hates: Hard to say really, because whoever I say, there'll be a heard of fangirls agreeing with me.
5. The character you used to love but don't any longer: Hermione again. I liked her in the books, and in the beginning when I entered the Fandom, but not as much now.
The Nightworld Fandom
OTP: Only one? Hunter Redfern/anyone
Fav. Character: Hunter Redern
1. The first character you first fell in love with: Galen. All the male character in these books are hawtt, he was the first character I read about.
2. The character you never expected to love as much as you do now: Hunter, again. He was an ass, but I still love him.
3. The character everyone else loves that you don't: Elena, technically she's not in the Nightworld fandom, but I'll keep her in anyway. She's a bitch.
4. The character you love that everyone else hates: Blaise Harman. She's just screaming to be femmeslashed, she really is.
5. The character you used to love but don't any longer: Galen. He's a bit of a wimp.
Oh, and gacked of someone on my flist:
I feel like I'm so upset! that asshole not_alone_now
gone and said that they saw me backstabbing a_linz
Oh yeah. crsg
went around saying how I got caught talking to kalohalo
and dissing on wyvernmalfoy
. If I get my hands on them there's paybacks!
This entry automatically generated by the LJ Drama Generator
**snorts** Far. Too. Amusing.
Barabra Sreisand's Cousin to all,
Current Mood: amused
I have nothing of real importance to say, but thought I'd like to update anyway.
As you do.
Life is moving on, as life is rather apt to do, with too much homework to be had and far too little time for the internet.
Gwen and I consoled a girl we barely knew today, however. She was the older sister of a girl in our year level. She was crying in the foyer of the school library, not a good place to break down. So we got her to talk, which she did at great length, as to why she was crying. I suppose I sound cruel by saying that, I don't mean to be, I felt quite sorry for her. It sounds like she was going through a rough patch. I just felt a little odd, I barely knew her at all. But I saw her later that day, and we shared a smile.
Apart from that, and my large guilt of not being able to check you lots' lives, I'm good.
‘Borrowed’ Car Aerials to all,
THOUGHTFUL EDIT: If there is at least one person in your life who you consider a close friend, and who you would not have met without being part of an online fandom, post this sentence in your journal.
Current Mood: calm
Today I visited ze hairdresser's again, and got my hair re-cut. It seems a sort of luxury to me to have my hair cut more than once a year. Which shows how often I go to the hairdressers.
The hair is shorter again now, with a more textured layered effect. They tell me I need product in it every day, which I might do if I remember and it doesn't look like shite.
I have Stacie's birthday tomorrow night, will be muchly fun.
And Kate, I am extremely excited and wuv you heaps. Have a guess what I mean dear. **laughs**
Pink Fluffy Dice to all,
EDIT: But wait, there's more. I'm in one of those: Dear lord what do I actually know about you wonderful people, moods and so:
1. Tell me something obvious about you.
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with ...money.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexual about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexual about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no ...shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?
Current Mood: happy
Gwen and I, as you know from my last post, competed in the regional speech finals last night.
We turned up separately in the special school uniform that only speshal people get to wear (like Head Girl, Deputy Head Girl etc.). Want to see the shiny and posh uniform (also a teensy tiny bit too big for me)? Well, here it is anyways, whether you want to see it or not:
We stood around for a good while, making small talk with the organisers, something which I’ve discovered which I suck at. I saw the other competitors, and felt a small grain of hope, but squashed it just in case karma was working extra fast that evening. Mum had got talking to some lady who was the organiser’s’ Mother, Travis was probably bored, Gwen’s Dad and my Dad were talking, and I was panicking.
Gwen was amazing, it was like hearing her speech for the first time again. We were the only ones who had learnt our speeches off my heart, everyone else had cue cards. Well, I did have a cue card: it was about 20 words scribbled onto the palm of my hand.
So, I stood in front of the audience, and a few minutes in, promptly forgot my words. I improvised completely till near the end, when it all came back. Mrs. Rae, my english teacher, who also had my cue-cards (and consequently knew when I fucked something sideways), told me that she nearly had a heart attack several times when I didn’t say what was written. I did fairly well, I thought at the time, because I managed to keep my shaking to a minimal and I think I had the audience captured. I also finished in the right time, didn’t trip over myself and did not have John with a sign that said “Focus Here!” and an arrow pointing downwards.
We, I am sorry to say, are not going to Auckland for the National semi-finals. But Gwen came 2nd and I came 3rd.
Everyone else seemed remarkably more gutted about it than I was. What was surprising however, was exactly how peeved off Mrs. Rae got about who came 1st. She’s not that ‘type’ of teacher, like that ‘type’ or parent, who cannot see their students failings. She is not pushy, nor is she stupid, so when she told Gwen and I afterwards that she would talk to us tomorrow about it, I didn’t think she was that concerned. Well, she told Dad that she thought the judges were wrong, but I just passed that off.
However, the next day while I was at school, all the teachers seemed to be in somewhat of an uproar. In every class I went to, a teacher would congratulate me on getting the placing I did, then they would say that they’d heard that there was some dissatisfaction about the judging. Gwen said that teachers told her this as well.
When I saw my english teacher at interval, she was virtually spitting nails about the whole thing. She’d had us pegged down for 1st and 2nd, though she couldn’t pick whom would get which. She’d had her camera ready for when one of our names was announced. I mean, sure, I didn’t think the girl who won deserved it (she was still using her cue-cards for fucks sake), but I’d always thought... well... judges know best.
Mrs. Rae told me that Gwen’s teacher (Miss. Cowie, she rocks, and is Head of English in the school), had arrived at school early and demanded whether we’d won. She was apparently ranting at Gwen about it in english that day. Even our Deputy-Principal was apparently incensed about the whole thing.
All the while I was enjoying the righteous anger on our behalf, I was not feeling all that much. Sure I lost, it was only a judge coming up and telling me later that I got third, that let me know my placing. And sure I was disappointed, and sure I’d’ve liked to have won. And sure I don’t think the girl who won should have, but not to the respect that Mrs. Rae thinks I should have.
Perhaps it is selfish of me, but if that girl had not have won, Gwen would have. And as much as I loff her, and I would have been happy for her, it would have been a hell of a lot harder in that order.
There is always inter-school debating, two more years for me to enter, and another Untied Nations competition to enter later this year.
Oh, and I am in the Shakespeare competition, under a student director (oh FUN), in the play Twelfth Night. Since I know the play, there’s only a few girl parts in it, main characters, so I’m curious to know who I’m playing. I also got in the Stage Challenge: not the core dancing group which was what I wanted, but meh, it’s all good. I still get time off school and a chance to perform.
School ties to all,
I love you guys so, so much. Those comments made me feel so loved and supported. Lina, Evie, Steph, Robert, Aimz and Kate, you are truly gorgeous and wonderful people. And Aimz, I'm sorry. We can have a virtual pity party together, hun. And also, the comments about the bird were also veyr much appreciated. Made my day. I'm going to try and read up on my flist, because I've had little time lately and I feel like shite about it.
Current Mood: weird
Fuck... fuck... FUCK! **panicks**|
Reginal Speech contest in Just under two hours.
...( FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK....and so onCollapse )
Current Mood: scared
Life doesn’t seem fair sometimes. This, by the way, is nothing abut me, my life, or the state of my social life.
Mum called me outside to help her get a bird down from a tree. It had somehow got its leg caught on one of the small branches, and was spinning around upside down.
At first, Mum was just going to cut it free, but I saw it would just fall and hurt itself even more. So I went inside and got a pile of old towels and sheets to use as some sort of padding. I then put it all into a small bucket. We stood on the ladder and Mum cut the poor thing free while I held the bucket.
When we got it down we saw that thre was only a small sinew connecting the bird’s leg to it’s claw, it was still bleeding. Fuck knows how long the poor thing had been up there. It was so horribly sad to see, I started to cry.
Mum and I both instictively knew what we should do.
The thing was though, we couldn’t do it.
So, we took the bird in the bucket down to the estuary, and left it in some bushes; hopefully no cats will find it there. We left a few ripe grapes there as well, but Mum doubts it will live much longer.
It was horrible, because I knew what we should do. So did Mum, but we just couldn’t do it.
Current Mood: crappy
Stacie, I have told you before and I shall tell you again:
I am not giving birth on April the 5th.
I am not giving birth to twins on April 5th.
I am not even giving birth to twin scones (dear God, help me) on April 5th.
I am not giving birth at all.
Do you know why?
Because I am not pregnant.
Thank you, and goodnight,
Current Mood: calm
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